Boring

That’s what I am most of the time. Just plain, simple boring. I’m not the life of the party or the person who stands out the most. I’m in the background, like to be on the down low (lol I probably just used that wrong), I like quiet, I like just sitting on the couch watching TV or watching My Hero play video games. I love having a sanctuary.

Today was another boring day yet filled with excitement. Wedding plans are underway and I’m feeling much more secure and not as nervous. As My Hero and I talked about it, it’s like waves of nervousness and anxiousness. Both of us are so excited to be going on this new journey in life and yet it’s scary. It’s unknown (for me that’s terrifying)

Anyways we just spent the day together putting our apartment together, seeing what we need, designing furniture, etc. All in all an awesome day.

So why am I still up? Well one, I hadn’t written anything today and I really needed to because I’m trying to stay on track for NaBloPoMo and two cause I am signing up for next semester’s classes at midnight. Yes you read that right. I’m signing up for classes at midnight so I can get the professor I want for internship. There’s only 8 spots and I intend to have one of them. I will NOT spend next semester in a class that I do not learn anything. And so here I wait for the next 17 minutes. Go by faster time!!

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Opening the Box- Pt 1

Also real quick: I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo this month! Yay!

So in line with my life changes, I am doing a journaling class about adoption. And this week we are supposed to go through our “boxes” and bring stuff to the surface. Yay emotions.

So I want to share the first letter I found (I put all letters in one place a while ago) Most are from my mother however I have one from a family friend who has known me since before I was born. So here it is..5 years later- and I’ll do another post on my reaction because while I appreciate the end goal and what this woman was telling me- I can’t help but be taken aback at some of the wording..

Dearest Sabo(pronounced Say-boo),

Knowing that this time is the most difficult time you’ve had to face in your young life, I know that you sit squarely in our God’s hands. You were given an opportunity that the vast majority of people, even those who call themselves Christian, simply refuse to consider. You unashamedly made the decision to walk in Agape.

Agape is incapable of self consideration; the only goal of Agape is to do whatever is best for the one “this love” is directed towards. While we all have said that we love someone, what we’re really saying is that we “enjoy the feelings/emotions” in us for this person. When our feelings change towards this person, we then claim that I don’t love them anymore, when the truth is- we never did ‘love’ them.

Agape is Spirit, what Agape is NOT are our feelings/emotions.

Parenthood is an excellent example of Agape, and you’ve had the best models in your parents. They have always done what they thought was best for you. They refused to let your or anyone else’s reactions interfere or distract them from their goal of adequately preparing you for life’s journey in this world. Your parents understood that you were not theirs to do as they pleased but that you are a gift from God.

From what I see today, it’s very evident that they’ve done a fantastic job, for you also have chosen to do what is best for your Gift from God.

I hope you understand how courageous your decision was. I’ve spoken with dozens of people the last few weeks and most have a difficult time with your side of adoption. They realize what an incredible, miraculous gift an infant is to a childless couple, so being on the ‘receiving’ end of the gift is easy. What people struggle with is the ‘giving’ end of the equation. But how can we forget that in order for one to be blessed, another one volunteered to make a supreme sacrifice.

While it takes courage to acknowledge a mistake, it takes incredible courage to admit that someone else should shoulder the burden.

After 911 we’ve seen all kinds of sayings about heros, who they are and what they do. Today I declare a new definition: A young lady is honest enough to admit to the truth about herself and then dares to walk in that truth- you go girl!!