I haven’t been me. It’s taking me over almost 25 years to find me and even then I’m still searching.
Today I went to therapy.
And it’s freeing cause 1 I didn’t go to traditional talk therapy cause I’ve been there done that. I’m talked out about my issues and my problems. Today was freeing and I’ll be going back next week and every week for a little bit. Now the therapy I’m trying may seem hokey but it’s definitely good for those of you who are able to be insightful and know yourselves a little. Cause I know my triggers, I know my anger, I know my fears, I know what makes me happy and what makes me sad. I know what I need to work on but at the same time I need some guidance and honestly I decided to try something new.
There’s this thing called Evox. It goes through a process called perception reframing.
And its interesting and different and honestly I like the way it made me feel.
Not only did the process feel different and kinda cool but being able to say how I felt about my relationships and figuring out the TransGenerational patterns is fascinating and helpful to me. Also being able to talk with an LCSW about it all made it that much better.
Cause perception is everything. Life is what you make of it. And in my relationships I tend to assume what people mean instead of actually seeing them for who they are and their heart. Yes boundaries are good- but so is accepting someone for who they really are- mess and all. So the realization that hit me is that my issues with my family (mom,dad, grandparents) aren’t so much the day to day arguments or mess but it’s my perception of myself and of what they mean. I react to the situation. And not in a good way.
So here I go on a journey of self discovery and healing (somewhat) and of learning to love people even with all the mess. And for the first time in, well, ever I feel like me.