Also real quick: I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo this month! Yay!
So in line with my life changes, I am doing a journaling class about adoption. And this week we are supposed to go through our “boxes” and bring stuff to the surface. Yay emotions.
So I want to share the first letter I found (I put all letters in one place a while ago) Most are from my mother however I have one from a family friend who has known me since before I was born. So here it is..5 years later- and I’ll do another post on my reaction because while I appreciate the end goal and what this woman was telling me- I can’t help but be taken aback at some of the wording..
Dearest Sabo(pronounced Say-boo),
Knowing that this time is the most difficult time you’ve had to face in your young life, I know that you sit squarely in our God’s hands. You were given an opportunity that the vast majority of people, even those who call themselves Christian, simply refuse to consider. You unashamedly made the decision to walk in Agape.
Agape is incapable of self consideration; the only goal of Agape is to do whatever is best for the one “this love” is directed towards. While we all have said that we love someone, what we’re really saying is that we “enjoy the feelings/emotions” in us for this person. When our feelings change towards this person, we then claim that I don’t love them anymore, when the truth is- we never did ‘love’ them.
Agape is Spirit, what Agape is NOT are our feelings/emotions.
Parenthood is an excellent example of Agape, and you’ve had the best models in your parents. They have always done what they thought was best for you. They refused to let your or anyone else’s reactions interfere or distract them from their goal of adequately preparing you for life’s journey in this world. Your parents understood that you were not theirs to do as they pleased but that you are a gift from God.
From what I see today, it’s very evident that they’ve done a fantastic job, for you also have chosen to do what is best for your Gift from God.
I hope you understand how courageous your decision was. I’ve spoken with dozens of people the last few weeks and most have a difficult time with your side of adoption. They realize what an incredible, miraculous gift an infant is to a childless couple, so being on the ‘receiving’ end of the gift is easy. What people struggle with is the ‘giving’ end of the equation. But how can we forget that in order for one to be blessed, another one volunteered to make a supreme sacrifice.
While it takes courage to acknowledge a mistake, it takes incredible courage to admit that someone else should shoulder the burden.
After 911 we’ve seen all kinds of sayings about heros, who they are and what they do. Today I declare a new definition: A young lady is honest enough to admit to the truth about herself and then dares to walk in that truth- you go girl!!