I can relate- in so many ways…
The Me Who Used to be….
Alright now I can’t answer this subject in a blog post- the subject matter is way to complex and others have explained this so much better (look for Adoptee Restoration and Musings of the Lame)
So I have just recently (as in last night) had a discussion or a trading of comments on facebook. The story was about two women brought together with a Life bracelet. The one woman considering abortion decided instead to parent. It was a wonderful story full of tears and joy. The very first comment is “perhaps an even better ending to the story…baby is adopted to parents who yearn for a child”. First response is why? why would that be a better ending? The story was fine as is. Why does the child being adopted make it better? So I ask that in a not so diplomatic way and say hey not trying to offend but really thinking umm wtf?
I tell my boyfriend about this and he immediately warns me that I’m going into bulldog mode and need to remember that social media is not the way to convince someone. I agreed and responded a few more times especially when she goes on to state that it is better through research and God’s plan that each and every child be raised by a two parent home. The last thing i read before blocking her (if i don’t i’ll keep responding, sorry i’m not great at stopping myself when I’m in bulldog mode) is that she is a birthmother who placed her son over 42 years ago and has reunited with him and everything is hunky dory. (I also realize in reading what she says is that she did not have an open adoption). Basically she assumes that being raised by a single mother is more traumatic then being taken away from your biological roots and being in a closed adoption for your whole life until you’ve reached an age you want to meet your biological parents.
Made me angry. Especially when I think about adult adoptees who speak out about their pain and the single moms i know who are doing a spectacular job with their kids. And the assumption that you know God’s will.
God doesn’t have one solution for every problem.
Not in this fallen world. Maybe in His perfect world but guess what that’s not where we live.
I am a Christ follower but I don’t assume that I know what God’s will is or that one way is better than another.
I do know that how adoption is today is NOT what God wants. Secrets and lies have no place at all in His kingdom on earth or in heaven (which could be more earthly than some ethereal thing, I don’t know He does).
I do know that adoptees who state their pain and share it with the world need to be listened to.
I know that adoptive parents who adopt to fulfill and satisfy their own needs is against everything I stand for and everything I stand against.
Adoption is NOT to fulfill the needs of an adult. EVER!